Abrahamic / Middle Eastern Christianity 10 Reasons Not to Have Sex Outside of Marriage What Does the Bible Say? Share Flipboard Email Print Jordan Siemens / Getty Images Christianity The New Testament Christianity Origins The Bible The Old Testament Practical Tools for Christians Christian Life For Teens Christian Prayers Weddings Inspirational Bible Devotions Denominations of Christianity Funerals and Memorial Services Christian Holidays Christian Entertainment Key Terms in Christianity Catholicism Latter Day Saints View More By Mary Fairchild Christianity Expert General Biblical Studies, Interdenominational Christian Training Center Mary Fairchild is a full-time Christian minister, writer, and editor of two Christian anthologies, including "Stories of Cavalry." our editorial process Facebook Facebook Twitter Twitter Mary Fairchild Updated June 25, 2019 Examples of couples engaging in extra-marital sex are all around us. There's no way to avoid it—today's culture fills our minds with hundreds of reasons to just go ahead and have sex outside of marriage. But as Christians, we don't want to follow everyone else. We want to follow Christ and know what the Bible says about sex before marriage. 10 Good Reasons Not to Have Sex Outside of Marriage Reason #1 - God Tells Us Not to Have Sex Outside of Marriage In the seventh of God's Ten Commandments, he instructs us not to have sex with anyone other than our spouse. It's clear that God forbids sex outside of marriage. When we obey God, he is pleased. He honors our obedience by blessing us. Deuteronomy 28:1-3If you fully obey the LORD your God ... [he] will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God ... (NIV) God has a good reason for giving us this command. First and foremost, he knows what's best for us. When we obey him, we trust God to look out for our best interests. Reason #2 - The Exclusive Blessing of the Wedding Night There's something special about a couple's first time. In this physical act, the two become one flesh. Yet sex represents more than just physical oneness—a spiritual union takes place. God planned for this exclusive experience of discovery and pleasure to happen only within the intimacy of marriage. If we don't wait, we miss out on a unique blessing from God. 1 Corinthians 6:16Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one." Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never "become one." (The Message) Reason #3 - Be Spiritually Healthier If we live as carnal Christians, we'll seek to gratify the desires of the flesh and please ourselves. The Bible says we cannot please God if we live this way. We'll be miserable under the weight of our sin. As we feed our fleshly desires, our spirit will grow weak and our relationship with God will be destroyed. Complacency over sin leads to worse sin, and eventually, spiritual death. Romans 8:8,13Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live ... (NIV) Reason #4 - Be Physically Healthier This is a no-brainer. If we refrain from sex outside of marriage, we will be protected from the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. 1 Corinthians 6:18Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. (NLT) Reason #5 - Be Emotionally Healthier One reason God tells us to keep the marriage bed pure relates to baggage. We carry baggage into our sexual relationships. Past memories, emotional scars, and unwanted mental images can defile our thoughts, making the marriage bed less than pure. Certainly, God can forgive the past, but that doesn't immediately free us from lingering mental and emotional baggage. Hebrews 13:4Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. (NIV) Reason #6 - Consider Your Partner's Well-Being If we put concerns for our partner's needs and spiritual well-being above our own, we'll be compelled to wait for sex. We, like God, will want what's best for them. Philippians 2:3Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; (NASB) Reason #7 - Waiting Is a Test of True Love Love is patient. That's as simple as it gets. We can discern the sincerity of our partner's love by his or her willingness to wait. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5Love is patient, love is kind ... It is not rude, it is not self-seeking ... (NIV) Reason #8 - Avoid Negative Consequences There are consequences to sin. Its effects can be devastating. An unwanted pregnancy, a decision to have an abortion or place a child for adoption, broken relationships with family—these are just a few of the possible outcomes we could face when we have sex outside of marriage. Consider the snowball effect of sin. And what if the relationship does not last? Hebrews 12:1 says that sin hinders our lives and easily entangles us. We are better off to avoid sin's negative consequences. Reason #9 - Keep Your Testimony Intact We don't set a very good example of godly living when we disobey God. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 4:12 to "be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." (NIV) In Matthew 5:13 Jesus compares his followers to "salt" and "light" in the world. When we lose our Christian testimony, we no longer shine the light of Christ. We lose our "saltiness," becoming flavorless and bland. We can no longer attract the world to Christ. Luke 14:34-35 puts it strongly, saying that salt without saltiness is worthless, not even fit for the manure pile. Reason #10 - Don't Settle for Less When we choose to have sex outside of marriage, we settle for less than God's perfect will—for ourselves and our partner. We may live to regret it. Here's food for thought: If your partner wants sex before marriage, consider this a warning sign of his or her spiritual condition. If you are the one who wants sex before marriage, consider this an indicator of your own spiritual condition.