Arranged Marriage, Polygamy, and Hinduism

Love, Marriage, and the Law of the Land

Hindu wedding ritual.

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Controversies apart, marriages are still made in heaven for the average Hindu couple. Hindus regard the institution of marriage as a sacrosanct sacrament and not just a contract between two persons of the opposite sex. What is matchless about a Hindu alliance is that it's as much a union of two families as between two individuals. It's a lifelong commitment and it is the strongest social bond between a man and a woman.

Is Hindu Polygamy Allowed?

Polygamy is not for Hindus. It is banned by the law of the land. Interestingly, when it was found that an increasing number of Hindu men have been showing a propensity to convert to Islam whenever they wanted a second wife, the Indian Supreme Court plugged this legal loophole for all potential Hindu bigamists. In a historic ruling, on May 5, 2000, the apex court said that if it is found that a newly-converted Muslim has embraced the faith only to embrace another wife or two, he should be prosecuted under the Hindu Marriage Act and the Indian Penal Code. Thus, bigamy for all Hindus was ultimately outlawed.

Life-long Commitment

Marriage is sacrosanct, for the Hindus believe that marriage is not only a means of continuing the family but also a way of repaying one's debt to the ancestors. The Vedas affirm that a person, after the completion of his student life, should enter the second stage of life. This is the Grihastha, or life of a householder.

Arranged Marriage

Most people tend to equate Hindu marriage with an arranged marriage. In order to meet this domestic obligation, parents prepare themselves mentally and (more importantly) financially when their child reaches marriageable age. They search for a suitable partner, keeping in mind the societal rules regarding cast, creed, natal chart, and financial and social status of the family. Traditionally, it is the girl's parents who bear the cost of the wedding. To jump-start their daughter's married life, they shower her with gifts and ornaments to take to her in-laws. Unfortunately, this has aggravated people's greed, culminating in the many evils of the dowry system.​

Arranged marriages in India differ from community to community and from place to place. These ceremonies are indispensable, highly religious, and significant. The rites of marriage are also social and meant to increase intimacy between the two families. However, with some variation, the usual wedding rituals are more or the less the same throughout India.

Love Marriage

What if the girl or the boy refuses to marry the person chosen by their parents? What if they choose a partner of their own liking and opt for a love marriage? Will the Hindu society rule out such a marriage?

The average Hindu, anchored to the age-old rules of an arranged marriage, would embark on a love marriage with immense caution. Even today, love marriage is looked down upon and the orthodox Hindu priests interdict a love marriage. This is mainly because such marriages usually defy the barriers of caste, creed, and age.

Looking Back

However, Indian history is witness to the fact that time and again, Indian princesses chose their life mates in Swayamvaras. This is an occasion when princes and noblemen from all over the kingdom were invited to assemble in a bridegroom-choosing ceremony. It is also interesting to note that Bhishma, a character in the greatest of Hindu epics the "Mahabharata," perspicaciously hints at "love marriage."

After the appearance of puberty, the girl should wait for three years. During the fourth year, she should look for a husband herself (without waiting any longer for her kinsmen to select one for her).

Polygamy and Hinduism

According to the scriptures, a Hindu marriage is indissolvable in life. Nevertheless, polygamy was rampantly practiced in ancient Hindu society. An address by Bhishma to King Yudhishthira in the "Mahabharata" succinctly endorses this fact.

A Brahmana can take three wives. A Kshatriya can take two wives. As regards the Vaishya, he should take a wife from only his own order. The children born of these wives should be regarded as equal.

Since polygamy has been completely gutted out by law, monogamy is the only option for Hindus.