Other Religions New Age / Metaphysical Steps for Manifesting Your Ideal Mate Advice for Attracting Partners Share Flipboard Email Print Finding Your Perfect Match. Compassionate Eye Foundation/Justin Pumfrey New Age / Metaphysical Holistic Healing Divination Chakra Balancing Reiki Crystal Therapy By Phylameana lila Desy Reiki Expert Phylameana lila Desy, the author of "The Everything Guide to Reiki," is a freelance writer, holistic healing consultant, intuitive counselor, and an energy medicine practitioner. our editorial process Phylameana lila Desy Updated June 25, 2019 Are you looking for that perfect someone to share your life with? Finding that elusive ideal mate may not come that easily for you because you may not have learned the importance of being very clear in your thoughts about what type of person would truly make you happy. When you are projecting a "murky image" of your desires it is nearly impossible for the universe to deliver a perfect package. Manifesting Mistakes Quite simply, when you are vague about what you want, how do you expect to get what you want? For example, ask your neighbor to go to the mall to buy a blue blouse. If you do not tell your neighbor what size to get, what fabric you would like, or even what shade of blue you like—you can see there might be a problem. Your neighbor friend returns wearing a new navy and white checkered double knit polyester top. That was not at all what you had in mind. You wanted a pale blue chiffon shirt for yourself. Your neighbor assumed you meant for her to go out and treat herself to a blouse. And you cannot really blame her for misunderstanding because you did not make yourself very clear. This same problem can arise in attracting partners. If you are unclear in your mind about what type of traits you want in your partners then you can expect to be alone for awhile until the fog clears or worse, you end up with a real loser. Yes, there may be lessons to be learned in all our relationships and coupling experiences and mistakes, but you do not have to go down that road. These are some steps that can help you manifest your ideal mate. Self Evaluation Before you get ready to take on another person in your life. You need to know where you stand on your own. Be introspective. Where are you at in your life at the moment? How did you get here? Are you happy? Are you sad? Evaluate Past Relationships Before you move on to new prospects, you need to do a post-mortem on your prior relationships. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from your successes, too. What aspects of those individuals made you happiest? What aspects were not so great? Are you ready for a new relationship and all that it involves? Get Clear About Your Needs Explore your personal reasons for wanting to manifest a mate. Are you lonely? Are you seeking financial freedom? Are you in need of emotional support? No reason is wrong, it's helpful to know where you are coming from to better understand your needs. Realize You Cannot Override Free Will Ask and you shall receive as long as you are not infringing upon another person's free will. This means do not focus on any particular person to be your perfect mate. The other person has to be just as willing and ready to enter into a relationship in order for it to flourish. Instead of going after the "ideal person," turn your focus toward your "ideal personality." Like Attracts Like Consider all the various traits you are seeking in a person (kindness, generosity, wealth, honesty, or humor). Do you have these same traits? Like attracts like. When we portray the images that we wish to attract in ourselves we naturally magnetize people with these same traits toward us. Make A Manifest List Write out your desires on paper. This exercise is no different than selecting the specs for your new automobile. You pick and choose the characteristics you like: height, weight, eye color, hair. If you aren't particular about physical appearances then leave that door open. Just remember, any doors left open are an invitation to chance. How adventurous are you? Do you want to be married? Are you seeking a friend to date without strings attached? Being specific clears up the murky images. The details are important. Dedicate Your Intentions Dedicate your manifest list with an affirmation or prayer asking for it to be fulfilled with the aid of the universe. Release Your Request to the Universe Allow your list to cook and simmer. The universe has now received your request. Trust that everything will work out perfectly. If you doubt it, you will be giving the universe a conflicting message that says you are not ready to have your life's desires fulfilled. Doubtful thinking will only create roadblocks along the path to finding your perfect mate. Take Action Pay attention to your gut instincts and follow them where they lead you. This is important. So listen up. Do not think that you can just stay at home every evening sitting in front of your computer or television and the universe is going to plant your perfect mate on your doorstep. It could happen that way, but becoming an active participant in this process will speed up the results. If you suddenly get an urge to go to the market when you are not hungry, go anyway. Your perfect mate is likely squeezing the tomatoes in the produce aisle that very minute. Or, if it strikes you that you ought to attend a circus in a neighboring town, do it even if you dislike caged performing animals and normally wouldn't dream of going near the circus. You just never know who might be waiting for you there. Be Careful What You Wish For Be mindful of your manifest list requests. You just might get what you wish for. Do not make the mistake of writing down that you want a rich person unless you do not mind possibly attracting a miser. Instead, ask for a financially secure person who has a generous heart.